The dominant tone of my poems is with a degree – dark. I have been asked many times when I appear to be happy, and when my life defies the categorization that it is bleak: How are my poems, then, so dark?
I feel, it would not be fair to constrict the part of my ‘dark poems’. Besides, the backup of privacy is hard to maintain when you are in the serious business of writing. To raise controversy is not my aim. To be sensibly frank and honest is my goal. Yes, indeed, I am happy, and my life is glowing – but there are periods when I have seen the imprint of a dark cell locking me in its isolation. The lamenting verse is in response when a highly personal tragedy moves towards me to destroy my normal equilibrium. It is also likely, when I see unfairness, injustice around me – these fatalities gnaw at my stomach. On both accounts, when I have decided to retaliate – I have felt acute pressure of remoteness…an experience of complete isolation. On both accounts, I risk retribution. Otherwise, why would I be in the cell – lamenting?
Whenever I tend to look into my past, it is not obscure, at all. The past retains a powerful hold over my present. There is an evident pattern…a clear writing on the wall – revealing that some of my fears have been genuine. It is scary that my forecasts have come true! The reel plays and replays bringing out more and more apprehensions. I am crushed. I am enraged.
Later, calm reflection has told me that it is okay if now I am an open book. It is okay! How can I not be an open book? I am a poet and my horizon is not limited to be secretive. In addition, my directness might open up vents to give courage to others to speak out. I must be transparent so that I can restore the diminishing spirit of others.
Geeta Chhabra
From the book: Smash My Glass by Geeta Chhabra
